


Doused are the Flames of Hestia

by Willowingends



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Disassociation description, F/F, Friends to Lovers, Infidelity, Pre-Canon, lovers to tragedy, unhappily ever after fest 2019
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-04
Updated: 2019-09-04
Packaged: 2020-11-01 21:47:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,480
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20517167
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Willowingends/pseuds/Willowingends
Summary: Hestia: Greek Goddess of the hearth, the home, and the family. Goddess of comfort and safety. Of belonging.Falling in love was easy, losing her was sudden.





	Doused are the Flames of Hestia

**Author's Note:**

> Wrote for the Hp Unhappily Ever After Fest 2019  
Prompt: On November 1st 1981 Narcissa reads in the Prophet that Lily was killed just before the end of the war.

Narcissa was familiar with how the world could change. How the smallest thing, the shortest moment, could change everything. The rebellion of a cousin could lead to heavy chains. The leaving of a sister could lead to heavy screams. The smile of a man could lock you in place, feeding a darkness in to the world that you believed in because it was all you had ever known. Because darkness was the way of the world, and you and your family sat above it all. Cold, immovable, glistening, beautiful. Deadly and perfect and better than everyone else. 

She was more than familiar with the shifting tides of the world. Yes, Narcissa was intimately familiar with how the world could play cruel tricks on you. How a warm, nervous smile could grace the lips of a lily skinned redhead. How hands could brush. A pamphlet could be dropped between them. How nervously laughed apologies could turn in to easy conversation. 

"My first. I'm so nervous. I never thought, and well-" Lily had waved her hand about her head. All bright Gryffindor and hopeful youth. And Narcissa had curled a hand around her own baby bump, eyes softening, lips curling. Her third try, and she knew, oh, how she knew what "--and well" meant. War was no time to have a child. 

And yet here the two of them were. 

"My first as well." She replied softly, delicate and shaking fingers outstretched. "Narcissa Malfoy, a pleasure." 

"Lily Potter." 

Spoken with such confidence, in such a blase manner. Head tilted up not proudly, but with the knowledge that here they were equal. Two women, poised on opposite faces of a coin, placed on common, level ground.

A princess, brought down from her ice tower as the darkness of her world cloaked the streets, with verdant hope that this would return the world to its correct place. A warrior who had always had her eyes set on the stars, the confidence in her bones set to shake the ice walls to the ocean floor. 

How could Narcissa not fall for the warmest thing she had ever encountered?

It had happened in the smallest of whirlwinds. The most confined of settings. Trips to St. Mungo's scheduled on the same days, lunches following where they would eat delicate foods that wouldn't upset the seeds of life growing inside of them. Lily's raucous laughter when Narcissa told a story she had never thought of as funny. The puffened, reddened eyes Narcissa knew to expect. She always knew the day before that Lily would cry her eyes out. Narcissa always knew when one of Lily's friends died. 

Because Lucius and Bellatrix would always be the first two to gloat over the murder of an Order member. 

It came to be a double sided blade of fear pressing against her shoulders. Fear Lucius would not return. Fear Lily would not be at the next appointment. 

She had been the first to feel Harry kick. Lily had been the first to lay delicate fingers across the taunt skin and look up with wondering bright eyes as Draco responded to her voice. 

Lily had been the first woman to ever kiss Narcissa Malfoy, the two of them tucked away in an alcove as fear gripped the both of them. A battle between Death Eaters and Aurors had broken out three doors down. The two women curled protective around their unborn sons, Lily with her wand outstretched and teeth bared for any who dared come their way. A shining knight with wild red hair and brilliant green eyes. Narcissa knew her  _ heart _ had lost the battle. 

And when Regulus rounded the corner, face hidden by a familiar mask, though Narcissa knew the face beneath to be gaunt and ashen. He had only stared at the sight of the two of them. Narcissa with her pleading eyes, her fingers wrapped so tightly entwined with Lily's hand. He had turned and fled, and Lily had come so close to giving chase. But a broken whimper- of denial, of fear - halted her. And her strong arms turned and gathered Narcissa to her. 

Their lips had met. Soft red against cracked, chapped pink. Narcissa's fingers tangled in her hair, flowing red locks that shielded them like a wall of fire as warmth tore through her. As lust--  _ love _ \--burned to life within her cold core for the first time in her life. 

And Narcissa wept, because she knew now what true happiness was, and knew how easy it would be to lose it. 

They still met after the boys were born. More clandestine than ever. Narcissa was not meant to take Draco away from the house, but she craved Lily's presence. With her warm life and her hopeful eyes. So different from the cold, angry world she knew so well. And Draco needed the socialization. There were no other babies at the time among the Death Eaters. 

It was a flimsy excuse that she held like a shield against the entire world. A shield this love had given her. 

Lily's kisses felt like walking in the sun again. Like breathing fresh air instead of the rancid death that filled their home. Lily shined brighter than any social gathering hosted among the purebloods. And her song of love was louder than any of the vitriol spewed by the mouths of Narcissa's own family

Somewhere along the way she had stopped believing the poisoned words. Somewhere along the way, Lily had become a target. Somewhere along the way, she lost her.

And letters didn't convey the passion she felt when they touched. And letters didn't soothe the ache she felt for the woman who made her feel alive. 

The letters stopped altogether.

  
  


It still amazed her how quickly news traveled in the wizarding world. How quickly things could shift, change, then crumble. However, Narcissa couldn't be shocked by how quickly the world would change. The wrong ingredient at the right time. The cold word when a warmth should have been offered. An opinion stated against a Dark Lord. 

How quickly the world could change with a gasp, the crack of her husband disapparating, and a one year old wailing in his crib.

She unfolded the special release  _ Daily Prophet _ and the words jumped out at her like a searing comet on unprotected eyes. It was a brilliant, shining moment between the ache in her chest, the nausea burning her stomach, and the scratching of her throat.

**He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named:**

**Defeated**

It felt like a burst of sunlight, felt like warm laughter, like the memory of shining green eyes bright with happiness. Finally,  _ finally _ . She could see her again. She could touch her, kiss her. It was only a matter of time. Short, oh, how  _ short _ time could be. 

And then, like the bang of a bell, the feeling of a stunner cracking through her shields, like her wand slipping between her fingers-

James and Lily Potter found dead

The world shattered with a distant shriek of alarm.

Hollow and shaking gasps rattled in her ears. Cold, clammy hands covering her mouth. Choking her, smothering her. Dark and cold overwhelming and killing her. Someone was killing her. Stealing the air from her lungs and filling her ears with weeping. 

A storm raged within, denial choked off her screams. Memories of her laughter, her soft hands, her warmth. Lily,  _ her  _ Lily. Gone. Erased from the world. Gone before she could hold her again. Gone before she could say it. 

I love you, I love you.  _ I love her!  _

"I love her!" 

That strange and distant--couldn't be hers--,voice broke through the rattling gasps. Or rather, the scream cut off the death rattle. Candles lit and flickered and died. Grey eyes stared out with madness and grief at the whipping winds that swirled around the room. Ripping up sheets, tearing open the curtains. Uncontrolled magic. She was a grown woman with wild magic pouring from every pore of her skin. But it didn't matter, it _did not_ _matter_. Because Lily was gone and the world was dark because of it

Her one shred of happiness torn from between her fingers, her ribcage, like the wind stealing fire from the freezing. 

_*_*_

Hollow eyes sat above a plastered smile at every social gathering. The relieved wife, the thankful woman, as her husband was declared innocent. Empty, hollow words like those of an Imperius victim. They said she was lucky. So happy her family had survived, unscathed by the war.  _ Survived? _

Who could look at her and still see Lady Malfoy? Only blind fools. How was she meant to survive as  _ herself, _ when every important, happy part of her had died with Lily? She would have to curse Lily's name, drag her bright flame through the mud. All to survive, but what use was surviving when the world was cold and dark?


End file.
